Keeping My Olympic Torch Ablaze

I knew there was a reason I took a nap this evening. Whether I realized it or not, I wanted to stay up late to watch the USA Women's Beach Volleyball team!


(Courtesy of someecards.com)

Just supporting our young Olympians. Like our President.


(I'm also waiting for the Misty May-Treanor/ Kerri Walsh cereal box.)

U! S! A! U! S! A! Bring back some gold!

The Only Thing Michael Phelps and I Have in Common

Over the past week, I've gotten as caught up in this Michael Phelps thing as anyone. Besides the tremendous spectacle he's presented in Beijing (Friday night's by-the-fingertips win in the 100M Butterfly was incredible to watch), I dig him even more because he's been an Ann Arborite for the past few years. I think it's that Midwestern need to identify with "one of us" (even though Phelps is really a Maryland guy).

Besides the gold medals, Phelps has also gotten a lot of play for the voracious eating regimen that fuels the swimming machine. Anyone who's ever looked at me knows I can eat, but even I don't think I could put 12,000 calories away. (Unless I actually have, and didn't realize it during an evening at a Chinese buffet.)

Anyway, Phelps has to go somewhere to get all that food, which is what makes this video cool. Plenty of local Ann Arbor eateries can be seen here.



Yep. That's about the only thing Michael Phelps and I have in common. We both eat breakfast at Benny's Family Dining. (Well, sometimes - I'm more of a Mark's Midtown Coney Island guy nowadays.) Oh, and our favorite Chinese restaurant is Middle Kingdom on Main St. I was just in there last night, and the old man who owns the place was talkative and giddy over all the attention his place was receiving from its moment on TV. And he's not usually talkative or giddy. But he sure enjoyed telling anyone who asked what Phelps likes to eat.

You know, I used to swim a lot, too, when I was a kid. Which you might not guess by looking at me now. Even then, I didn't wear the Speedos, though.

(via MGoBlog, by way of MVictors.com)

Kwame: The Best Sitcom of the Summer

Up until now, I haven't paid too much attention to summer television because of baseball, but just before the Beijing Olympics begin, I think Kwame Kilpatrick has given us a fantastic sitcom to watch. Or is this more of a "dramedy"?

If you didn't catch the news - and this has gotten an embarrassing amount of national coverage - Detroit's joke of a mayor will be spending tonight in the slammer after violating the terms of his bond which prohibited him from leaving the city without first notifying the Wayne County Circuit Court. Kilpatrick said he was in Windsor, Canada on city business, and apologized like a teenager who trashed the family car, but the judge said he had to treat the mayor as he would any other citizen that violated bond. That led to the image that's provided most of my dinner entertainment this evening.


If that wasn't bad enough for Kilpatrick, the Michigan attorney general is set to charge him with at least one felony count tomorrow, connected to Kwame's alleged shoving of a Detroit police office. And if that charge leads to a conviction, it won't matter if the mayor chooses to resign or not because he'd be removed from office. (This would also relieve the governor from exercising her constitutional power to do so herself.)

None of this, by the way, is connected with the text message/perjury scandal that already had many Detroit citizens and politicians calling for his resignation. The Wayne County prosecutor is still working on that one.

Coffee is For Closers Only

I posted this over at Bless You Boys earlier today, but I think it'll play well here, too. Nothing is funnier than small children swearing. Even if it's bleeped out.



That's when you know you've written a classic monologue, when either Alec Baldwin or a kid can perform it to much the same effect. We salute you, David Mamet.

(Here's the real thing, if you want to watch it. Not safe for work, in terms of language, but you probably already knew that.)

Wilco Does Wrigley

This is more for my buddy Rob, but it's always fun when the worlds we love collide. Wilco singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" at Wrigley Field and Jeff Tweedy sitting in on the Cubs' broadcast booth definitely qualifies as one of those moments. (Kudos to him for admitting he grew up a Cardinals fan.)



(via Cable & Tweed)

When Superhero Movies Collide

I'd have to think if part of your job was to change the titles on a theater marquee, your mischievous side would sometimes creep in and you'd want to have a little fun. This photo of a Portland cinema switching from Hancock to The Dark Knight might be proof of that.


Although maybe the guy didn't realize what he was doing, and was just working his normal routine from left to right. In this case, maybe right to left would've been better. (And if the previous movie showing was Iron Man or The Incredible Hulk, there still may have been problems.)

Of course, working that way could also result in this:


Somewhere, Will Smith is smiling. I know it.

(via Hollywood Elsewhere)

The Dark Knight: A 1,200 Word Movie Review

Superhero films have gone beyond a trend now, and are probably here to stay, as (maybe you've heard) they've been extremely successful recently. But after seeing The Dark Knight twice now, I'm wondering if the genre should be retired. Walk out on a high note. Because I'm not sure it can ever get any better than what Christopher Nolan has done here.

The storyline is dense, fueled largely, of course, by good guy trying to catch bad guy. But there's so much more going on. As with any action movie, there are spectacular set pieces involving bank robberies, drug busts, kidnappings, hostage rescues, and stand-offs. But rather than provide the foundation for the story, those scenes supplement the complex impulses of an unforgettable cast of characters, each of whom is after something more than the typical motivations of hero defeating villain, villain confounding hero, power, money, love, and acceptance.

These people are pursuing loftier, more abstract goals such as order, chaos, contentment, and normalcy. (Okay, love should be thrown in there, too.) Altogether, it gives us the fully developed sort of superhero movie we say we've always wanted. And that's almost a backhanded compliment. The Dark Knight is just a great crime movie - period - whose main character happens to be wearing a mask and cape.

But a crime story wouldn't be any good without a memorable villain, someone who the protagonists have no idea how to stop and makes the audience squirm in its seat because neither has any idea what will happen next. Heath Ledger has created a nihilistic, anarchistic force of nature that can't be figured out because he doesn't want to be the town's biggest, megalomanical bully. The Joker just wants to mess with you. He can't help himself. He wants to touch your nerves and take sandpaper to them. He wants to see how far you can be pushed before you'll let go of the ideals and morals that define you. Punching him in the face or throwing him in a jail cell won't stop that.


Ledger's best scenes are when he finds his adversary's sensitivities and pokes at them. And instead of being a flamboyant clown, the Joker's playfulness comes from refusing to be ignored, persistently causing an itch that he knows has to be scratched. Yet he's also terrifying because he'll stick a knife in you just to watch you die, and won't have a bit of remorse over it.

Another fantastic aspect to this version of the Joker is how he mocks our desire to have our villains explained psychologically. What made him that way? Why does he do these things? A running gag, if you will, throughout the film has Joker telling his story to his victims just before he's about to injure or kill them. But it's a different story every time. Maybe there's some truth to each tale, but maybe he's also making fun of your attempt to understand him.

Altogether, Ledger and Nolan have created one of the great villains ever seen on screen. And maybe the posthumous Oscar talk leading up to The Dark Knight's release seemed premature, if not a bit exploitive. But if you consider the recent history of these awards, look at how memorable villains have been honored. Anthony Hopkins won an Oscar for becoming Hannibal Lecter. Javier Bardem was awarded for being Anton Chigurh. Daniel Day-Lewis got the prize for giving us Daniel Plainview. Who knows what else we'll see in the next six months leading up to the Academy Awards? But will any of those performances or characters be more memorable than Ledger as the Joker?


I disagree, however, with those who say that the Joker completely overshadows Batman in this movie. Sure, he's the flashier, more interesting presence, the one you're talking about when leaving the theater. But I also think Nolan and Christian Bale (along with Nolan's screenwriting brother - let's give the writers credit) have created a more compelling Batman and Bruce Wayne than we've ever seen before.

One of the tragedies of the character that hasn't been depicted in these movies before (and not that much in the comic books, either) is that there's not going to be a happy ending for him. Batman has created an impossible task for himself. He's never going to completely rid Gotham City of crime. And even if he comes close, what he's been through will never allow him to just settle down into a normal life (even one as a millionaire playboy). But Wayne is portrayed as someone who can see the day when Batman is no longer needed. Maybe this makes him seem more selfish, and less heroic, but to me, it makes Batman far more relatable. He's just a more extreme version of ourselves, someone who wants the world to make sense, so he can find his place in it.

When he meets Harvey Dent, the kind of man who should clean up his city, who should make people feel safe because he's fighting crime lawfully, Batman yearns to build him up. Because if someone doing this the right way can get it done, that creates hope. And if there's hope, there's no more need for Batman.

Unfortunately, it doesn't quite work out that way as Dent suffers a tragic downfall, both emotionally and physically, brought on largely because he's made himself such a large target. The villain Dent becomes, Two-Face, is my favorite adversary for Batman because he remembers the person that Dent used to be and is always trying to save him. There's nothing close to that sort of empathy between Batman and Joker, and this story nails those dynamics perfectly.


That brings me back to my original point, which is that there will likely never be a better Batman movie than this. For one thing, any villain will absolutely wither in comparison to the Joker. Even Two-Face. But in terms of story, I'm not sure where else this can be taken. As Joker says at one point, "we're destined to do this forever." These two characters have a symbiotic relationship, in which one begats the other, something Joker comprehends far better than Batman. Another version of this story could be told, but should it be done? I don't mean that literally, in regards to re-casting Ledger's role. (Good luck trying that, by the way.) I'm talking creatively.

Of course, there will be another Batman movie, whether or not Nolan chooses to do it. And the ending of The Dark Knight almost demands a more satisfying conclusion. It's reminiscent of The Empire Strikes Back, in which the bad guys appear to have won (if you haven't seen the movie yet, I don't think that's a spoiler), leaving the heroes to deal with the aftermath. When I saw Empire as a kid, I hated that sort of ending. Because the good guys are supposed to win. And there's supposed to be resolution.

Yet maybe that's the point Nolan is trying to make here. This isn't the sort of story that can end, but it doesn't have to keep being told. But if he figures out a fulfilling way to solve that dilemma, I sure as hell want to see it.

Is the "W" for "Wreck"?

UPDATE: If you tried the video, and it wasn't available, I found another embed that hasn't been taken down.

Saturday Night Live skit or new Oliver Stone film? You make the call.



I'm still curious about this one, but maybe in that gawking at a train wreck or "so bad it's good" (especially when I see Thandie Newton as Condoleezza Rice) fashion.

Mamma Mia!: A Four-Sentence Movie Review

Pierce Brosnan truly - deeply - cannot sing. Meryl Streep can, and at least looked like she had a good time. Stellan Skarsgard must have lost a bet when he agreed to be in this. 106 minutes of screaming women, whining men, and Abba songs made my testicles shrivel, and has had me on a testosterone IV drip ever since, but I am the greatest son in the world for taking my mother to see this movie (and she had a great time, which is really all that matters).

Get a Load of This, Batman

I was ready to sit down and write a Four-Sentence Movie Review for The Dark Knight (though you can surely guess what I thought of it), but I really want to see it again and plan to do so tomorrow. There's so much going on in the film that I almost found it overwhelming, though I'm sure geek palpitations were what really kept me from focusing for the first 10 minutes or so.

In the meantime, check out this illustration by Tom Whalen which is the cover of this month's Load magazine.


Really, the only thing missing is the character who might be the most important to the story, Harvey Dent/Two-Face. But I'll save those thoughts for when I write about the movie. (I don't think I can keep it to four sentences, either.)

(via /film)

This Town Deserves a Better Class of Criminal...

Live television: Ain't nothin' like it!



Would it have been worse if they'd shown Two-Face? Well, obviously - because of the spoilers!

I can understand if someone in the MSNBC production booth had some serious Batman on the mind. I mean, who hasn't over the past couple of weeks? Am I right? Or maybe someone was having some fun. Of course, it could've been an honest mistake too, but where's the fun in that?

Let's Put a Smile on That Face!

So I have a feeling I'll go to the movies this weekend to check out the new Batman flick.

No, I wasn't one of the midnight moviegoers. That might be yet another sign of age coming on. In past years, I'd have been all over that. I'm sure that was a good time at the theater last night. A movie like The Dark Knight with a crowd is surely an experience. But the need to see something first isn't what it used to be. Uncle Ian prefers his theaters quiet nowadays, and with a little room for stretching out.

Considering I spent a portion of the evening doctoring photos of myself with Facebook's "Joker Graffiti" application, however, I don't know how much of a claim I can make on being too old for anything.

What do you think? That picture of me doesn't look quite so glum anymore.

It's Not Called the Stanley Bidet

The Stanley Cup is the greatest trophy in sports. Even my father, who wasn't a hockey fan, was awed by this glorious chalice when he glimpsed it with his own eyes at the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto. So it's not really something you let your kid take a $#!+ in, Kris Draper. Yet that's exactly what happened last month while the Cup was in his possession.

Red Wings forward Kris Draper revealed during the weekend that his diaperless baby, Kamryn, did a number on the Cup last month. A number two, to be exact.

"A week after we won it, I had my newborn daughter in there, and she pooped in the Cup," Draper said. "That was something. We had a pretty good laugh.

"I still drank out of it that night, so no worries."

C'mon! No! No, no, no! He let his baby take a dump in the Stanley Cup? Where's your respect, Kris Draper? Hopefully, he took some rubbing alcohol, bleach, or Purell (or maybe just soap and water) to it afterwards.

I have a picture somewhere of my dad kissing the Cup. What's funny is that he thought he was getting away with it, behind the security guard's back. I was later told that you could kiss it, but couldn't hug it or try to pick it up. I'm just glad he planted his lips on the Cup before Draper's kid sat in it without a diaper. What do you think about this, Hayden Panettiere?

Really - An Adorable Little Hellboy

Here at FRT, we received a surprising amount of traffic today from Google searches for "little Hellboy." That brought them to this post, and I'm not sure that's what they were looking for. So I'm going to presume I know what these people wanted, and I'm going to give it to them.


I know - totally #@$%ing adorable, right? I almost bought one of these on a keychain today, but talked myself out of it. It was a long talk, however.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to console my ego after getting a lot of clicks on a day where I didn't write anything.